


Sehnsucht

by darkandstormyslash



Category: Deutschland 83
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Hand Jobs, M/M, allusions to AIDS, deutschland 86 - Freeform, first person present tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 14:39:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18812974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkandstormyslash/pseuds/darkandstormyslash
Summary: Alexander Edel between season 1 and season 2. A first person present tense from the POV of an unnamed man Alex is sleeping with. This is part-character study, part-historical thoughts and mostly smut.Spoilers for a few plot points in season 2 involving Alex's family.





	Sehnsucht

Dear little Alex has been to protest at the pharmacy again. You can tell, because he’s mad as hell and dealing with it badly. Alex’s anger seems to come from a deep well of helpless rage that simmers away inside him, and you can’t help but be a little little impressed at how much of it he can hold inside that short skinny body.

He’s in your kitchen when you get home, washing up in a way that mostly involves clattering cutlery resentfully against the sink. You step behind him and wrap arms around him, pressing in so he can feel the swell of your cock against the small of his back. He tenses and squirms, but you keep a hold of him, waiting until he turns in your arms and looks up at you with a face twisted and miserable.

“I went to the pharmacy today.”

You resist the urge to tell him that’s pretty obvious. Instead you slide your hand down his back to cup his ass, snug and fitted into his jeans.

“Get off, I’m being serious.” He snaps.

You squeeze his ass gently, then a little firmer, your hands moving and groping until you feel his body start to relax. Alex wants to take on the whole world; to pull apart every atomic bomb and personally fight every government official and pharmaceutical company until they start to sell a cure. He’s set himself a task he knows he’ll fail, and you sometimes wonder what it is in his past that’s made him so determined to seek out only those causes that are hopeless. Maybe his father. Maybe something else.

Either way, you can’t take that on. Maybe one day Alex will find a man who will. Right now all he has is you, who just wants him to calm down so you can get at that sweet little ass already. You met a few days ago at the club, and a relationship formed mostly through drunken dancing is already starting to go sour. You give it a week at most, but you’re happy to enjoy that week while it lasts.

You give him a bit more time to think while your hands slide under the waistband of his trousers. Not insistent, not grasping, just gently slipping fingers behind the back of his jeans until he finally relents. He doesn’t do it graciously and there’s a fair amount of sighing and eye-rolling as he allows himself to be shuffled backwards against the kitchen table. “Do you only ever think of one thing?”

You grin at him. “Not at all. Sometimes I think about sex as well.”

You hope it might make him laugh, to lighten the mood a little. Instead you just get an intense and slightly haunted stare. Despite what he likes to pretend, Alex is not really some brave rugged freedom fighter struggling for justice. At heart, he is a lonely little boy, looking for a place in a divided world.

“There are people dying.” Alex says desperately, and you feel your cock start to wilt a little under that stare, “People out there dying. Every day. I see them. And _they_ do _nothing_ …”

You usually know when Alex is going to kiss you, because he has to rise up on tiptoe to do it. This one takes you by surprise though, because you’d already assumed the mood was fading. Instead, you’re confronted with Alex’s lips, pressing against yours, then his tongue slipping insistently into your mouth. He always closes his eyes while he kisses you, and you can’t help but wonder who it is he’s imagining. Maybe the cute American soldier he sometimes obviously and aggressively ignores at the club. Maybe someone else.

By the time the kiss is over, you’ve got his trousers tugged down to his thighs. He pulls back and finally gives you a little smile. It’s teasing and gentle, and you hope that’s calmed his anger somewhat. Alex doesn’t need all this, doesn’t need an estranged mother, an injured father, or a concrete wall to break himself against. He needs to be laughing, dancing, partying. Enjoying his youth, enjoying men, enjoying himself.

Every time the threat of death is beaten away, it seems to come back. Maybe there is no escape. Maybe the world will always cycle around to this place, where clubs are hidden and secrets are held inside, and there’s a fear that hangs somewhere invisible in the air at every turning. You hope that isn’t true, that there is a place that can be reached, eventually, where nobody cares and nobody minds and there is no more death anymore. Just life, and boys enjoying it.

You feel inside you that place must exist. But it does seem to be bloody exhausting getting there.

Alex twists around in your arms, bending forward over the kitchen table, his arse curving out invitingly. “Use a condom.”

Romantic words for a generation. “Of course.”

“And be gentle.”

“Aren’t I always?”

Alex pouts at the table, “No.”

You rub a finger at the little nub of bone at the base of his spine, slowly working circles down lower into the cleft of his ass. “Oil?”

Alex waves a hand at the kitchen cupboard. You don’t really want to move away and so you spit in his ass instead, grinning as he makes a face.

“Ew, no. I said oil.”

You give his ass a sharp little slap then shuffle away to get it. He watches you, still bent over the table, an accusatory look in his eyes. “Why are the men I chose always pigs?”

You grab the bottle of oil and laugh, coming back and dribbling it onto the base of his spine, watching it disappear down into the inviting space below. Pressing your thumb forward, you rub circles again, this time right over his entrance to make him gasp and wriggle. “Because you’re so innocent, Alex, it invites a certain type of man.”

He braces himself against the table on his forearms, panting a little as you let your thumb slip against the ring of muscle, dipping in and against it to tease it open. “I wasn’t innocent when I met you.”

You don’t know how to tell him without insulting him that virginity wasn’t what you meant. There’s something wonderfully naïve about Alex, that has nothing to do with how many men have fucked him. Maybe it’s the hope he still has, the burning certainty that the world should be different and that he can do things to change it.

You straighten up, stroking your cock to hardness and rolling on the condom, before guiding it gently into the slick tight entrance. Alex’s head drops down and he gasps, biting his lip through the sting as your cock slowly stretches him wide and then slides home, through the eager gripping tightness. You close your eyes as well, savouring the moment, trying not to imagine just how much better it would feel if there was no sheath of rubber in the way, just the slick organic tightness of Alex’s ass.

Alex’s eyes are closed again. Maybe he’s imagining that too. You know enough about his past to know there was one man before who took him raw, or raw enough to give him a scare. You wouldn’t mind hearing more about that but while Alex is happy to rant about corrupt politicians and big pharma for hours, he’s remarkably tight lipped when it comes to his previous lovers.

Slowly, you let your hips slide backwards, hands keeping tight hold around Alex’s ass, your thumbs rubbing against his hip-bones. He gives a little moan as you move, his feet widening to take the next thrust more comfortably.

“Feel good?” You ask, because you like hearing his voice when he’s in this state.

“Y-yes. Oh yes.”

“Good boy.”

Alex gives a mewling little whimper and reaches forward to grab his cock.

You fuck him until you cum, with deep long strokes. When you’re finished you peel the condom off and tie it, flipping it into the kitchen bin. Alex is still bent over the table, and you spin him around, then sit him on top of it, your hands closing around his cock and jerking it. You watch his face as you work away, the gelled-up hair that curls around his head, the cute little earring biting into the top cartilage of his ear.

“Good boy Alex.” You murmur softly and then when you feel he’s close you bend a little closer and murmur low, “I’m so proud of you.”

His nails bite into your forearms, and he cries out loud as he cums.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending of Deutschland 86 was fantastic and I cannot wait for 89...


End file.
